Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Identity Crisis

Burning is a more intense feeling than emptiness for those who don’t know. The burning feeling inside sometimes felt so bad that it felt like molten lava flowing inside me. This is a very severe sign of a lack of love. I’m wriitng this so that if you feel this way, I want you to know that I KNOW how it feels.I felt so awful inside, I thought I was slowly dying. One day I felt this way,I knew that I needed a “mommy type” to hug me just for a moment.
For the longest time I had identity problems. Here are some examples of the things that happened :
•I would walk past a mirror and gasp when I saw myself. I didn’t recognize myself. That’s me? I look like that? But… I thought I looked different!
•If people told me good things about myself, it would pass through my ears into my brain and then disappear. *Poof* It left me unchanged.
•If someone told me he loved me, or I was attractive or a good girl… I didn’t feel that way after a short while. It didn’t stick in me, didn’t add to me, didn’t become a part of me.
•If I did something extremely well, or built something with my hands out of spare parts, I may have felt an emotional rush for a moment, but by the next day I felt flat again.
But now i wanna heal my identity.......

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