Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Loneliness

Family life today is under siege. Families are beset by divorce, a crisis in roles, absenteeism of parents, a breakdown of authority, preoccupation with things, inadequate time together, financial pressures, and a host of other problems. Many women really feel lonely IN their marriage. As hard as it is to feel lonely when you have no significant other, it is even more emotionally difficult when you do have a partner and you feel lonely anyway. When you are single, you at least have the fantasy that one day you’ll meet someone and not be lonely. But when you are married, your loneliness feels infinite and hopeless. You wonder, is it me, is it him or is it us?Loneliness is a feeling of emptiness, abandonment and rejection. You do not need to be alone to feel lonely and lonely is not a good feeling. Much more problematic is when you feel lonely and isolated because in fact, you are under emotional attack. If he criticizes you often, belittles you, tells you that you are nothing without him and threatens to leave or hurt you, then this is emotional abuse. In this setting it’s not unusual for the same man to isolate you from friends and family in order to keep control over the relationship. This is lonely and frightening. This is a relationship you need to get out of.

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